Marriage Monday: Five Things No One Tells You About the First Year of Marriage

I'd be totally lying if I said that my first year of marriage was all rainbows and unicorns. Don't get me wrong, being married is basically amazing. However, there were moments when I felt totally alone and almost betrayed by the married women who came before me. Like, why didn't anyone tell me about this!?



1. Being married is different than dating. Right now, you're like, duh, Annika! But hold up. I was under the impression that, given the fact that Alex and I had been living together for over 2 years by the time we got married, nothing in our relationship would change. Boy, was I wrong! Something about saying, I do, forever and ever and ever and ever does a thing to your brain. It kind of makes you freak out. At times, knowing that there was no way out of this deal, made me want out extra-bad. Let's take a moment to recognize that being married is a whole different crazy level of commitment than dating, living together, or even being engaged. It's kinda scary. Deal with it.

2. Joint bank accounts are not always awesome. It's up to each couple to decide how they want to handle their finances. I know a lot of committed couples who keep everything separate, and that works for them. Alex and I decided to take the plunge and join our banks right up. I suppose I thought it would relieve some pressure of splitting the bills, paying rent, etc. But it also lead to this question: "Honey, what did you spend fifty bucks on at Target?" (Uh, hello. I'm pretty sure that's the admission fee to Target these days, amiright, ladies?) Being accountable to another person about my spending habits has been... interesting. Did I really need to spend $22 in the dollar spot? Did I have to hit the In N' Out drive through twice this week? (The answer is actually chyeah!) But seriously, no. I didn't have to.

3. You will get way to comfortable. I'm pretty sure I'm quoting Jersey Boys when I say "marriage is not love -- it is you shaving as your wife sits on the can." I do think that marriage is about love, but truly sometimes its about being waaaay too close to each other. Set your boundaries and prepare to blow right by them. It's gonna happen.

4. You will fight about everything. And laugh about everything. I can't tell you how many stupid fights I had over the course of the last year. I had to take myself for a walk once because we got really heated about where the milk goes in the fridge. For real. Milk fight. In the door or on the shelf!??! On the flip side, for some reason, everything becomes more hilarious when shared. Alex and I love our dumb dog so much that we will have full-on conversations in our Bucket voices pretending to be the guy. It so damn weird and we love it.

5. Your marriage is yours. Sometimes I get freaked about because my marriage doesn't look like my parents' or some of my friends' marriage. What I've come to realize is that not every marriage could or should be the same. Mine works for me. Whatever is working for you, is your business. Don't get bogged down my traditional gender roles, or comparing it to sitcoms. It's as unique as you are.