Day 258 -- Overshare.
When: Thursday, May 16th, 2013
I'm usually not very good at sharing on here. I generally just say, "this is my outfit" and leave it at that. But after reading a really incredible post by Kendi Everyday, and seeing what a warm response she got from hundreds of fans and readers, I'm feeling more willing to open up.
Let me just start by saying, being a business owner is not easy. I knew it was going to be difficult going into it, but I don't think I expected just how hard it would be to start up, maintain finances, nurture a healthy relationship with my partner, and stay sane. More than once, I have completely broken down into sobs wanting to just give up and quit. Some days, just getting the motivation to get out of bed and try, seemed impossible. Sometimes, I spend so much time obsessing about how I'm going to pay the rent, that I forget why I started Expect in the first place -- I wanted to be happy.
It's hard not to regret quitting my retail job when I remember my steady paycheck and well-paced lifestyle. These days, checks are few and far between, and so are relaxing days off. But I have to remind myself that at my old job, I was miserable, creatively unfulfilled, and constantly ached to set out on my own.
Now that I've finally done that, I should be happy, right? But so many days, I'm just... not. I have always struggled with seeing things as either black or white. Either business is good or bad. I'm either excited to get married, or too stressed about wedding planning to even think about it. I'm happy or I'm sad. So when things aren't going well for me, I tend to fall into an almost catatonic state where I feel so inept I can hardly make my way into my studio to just work.
I'm trying to remember these days that I am incredibly lucky. I have a very loving and supportive fiance and family, I live in my dream apartment, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a fashion designer.
I want to start sharing more about myself here. After all, blogging has always been a pleasure for me. I don't want to portray someone on here that I'm not. So I'm excited to say that from here on out, I hope to talk more and more about how things are going for me. I hope that you'll stick with me and support me, especially on the bad-outfit, no-makeup, blurry-iPhone photo days.
Shirt: Anthropologie, gift from Mom | Skirt: Theory via Marshall's | Shoes: Topshop